Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
