i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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