Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
