Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
