Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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