Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
i need some magic done to my vagina
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
