In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
