i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
