I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
