god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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