Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
