And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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