I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
