No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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