loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
