i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
