He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
