If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
