The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
