ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
