Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
