While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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