It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
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