Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
