Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize