Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
