she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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