is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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