Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
