got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
