I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
