before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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