Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
