i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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