I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
