i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
