I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Drunk is not a location!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
