people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
