We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
