Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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