I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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