if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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