Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize
