Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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