Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
