I just made out with a guy for $7.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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