I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
