I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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