i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
