North Korea, Best Korea!
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
