You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Randomize
