CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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