He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize