he was CRYING into my vagina
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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