we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
