We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
