The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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