...so i touched it.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
