suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
