Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
