Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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