after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
